I needed a break.
I am in love with my family. I have 3 awesome kids. I married my best friend. We’ve worked hard to have the things we have now. I am very grateful for my life.
But I needed a break.
I was lucky enough to be able to quit my job and stay home with our new baby. I used to work a 9-5er, for 16 years. I was ecstatic to quit! I would be able to raise my kids, to have a clean home, the laundry would always be done, dinner ready by 5 and a happy husband. That was my dream world.
It was definitely a dream. Quitting my job meant I was now available to be a room mom for my 8 year old. I could go on field trips with 28 other 2nd graders. I could run our 16 year old and her friends between high school, riffle practice, soft ball, the mall, prom dress shopping…
When I could stay home, my newborn didn’t want to be put down. That laundry that was always going to be done, was now carpeting the laundry room floor. Dinner was never done on time, if at all. The house was messier now, than before. When I was working, I’d straighten up in the morning and come home to a clean house. Now I can’t seem to keep up.
When working, I dressed up everyday day. I wore expensive makeup, did my hair, collected stilettos. Now I’m lucky to shower daily. My husband just told me I always smell like spit up. I wear stretched out tees that my boobs have leaked on all day with my hair thrown up. I got ready for my daughters 8th birthday party a few weeks ago and forgot what my mascara tube looked like.
My daily conversation is either baby babble, why my girl doesn’t want to eat her vegetables today or the new cute boy in the high school hall. Did I even remember how to speak to another adult?
I needed a break.
We’ve left the baby with Grandma once. A few weeks ago for about an hour and a half. We went about 5 minutes down the street to a hometown bar. We caught up with some friends and had dinner. I sent Grandma about 6 text messages. “If she gets fussy, give her the snuggabear.” “How is she?” “Should I come home?”…
Why am I so worried? Grandma knows what she’s doing. She raised the best man I’ve ever met. But it’s my baby. I quit working to take care of her. I shouldn’t be out. I should head back. She probably needs me, I’m all she knows.
But I walked back into Grandmas, to a very happy baby. She was all smiles. Her little limbs start flailing around when she heard my voice and I knew she was happy to see me. I also knew she was okay without me, just for a little while.
Wow! Did I feel better. Some time out with adults. Real conversation with my husband, with no interruptions. Catching up on my girlfriends gossip. Eating a whole hot meal in one sitting! I think my family realized I needed a break just as much as I did. They all noticed I was less stressed, calmer.
When you feel like you need to do it all, I understand. That’s still me, but I’m evolving. Say it with me… It is okay to hand over the reins. It’s more than okay, it’s necessary!
Moms need me time. Self care is so important. How are we supposed to run on dead batteries? Give yourself a minute to recharge. Rebalance and find you center.
- Get a mani
- Do yoga
- Hide in the closet and eat the snacks
- Take a bubble bath
- Go for a walk
- Enjoy a coffee on Starbucks sofa
- Hit the gym
- Give yourself a mani/pedi
- Start a journal
- Take a hot shower
- Go for a drive & sing your heart out
- Meet up with a girlfriend
- Read a new book at the bookstore
- Grab your favorite treat and eat it in the car (guilt free)
- Go out on a date, with your hubby, or yourself
- Binge watch Netflix during nap time
However you like, just take some time for yourself. Self-care doesn’t mean you are selfish, it means your needs count too. And taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your kids. Your family, and your sanity will thank you for it.